Friday, April 17, 2009

I Know That I've Got Issues...

Again, I have so much on my mind. Easter was very eye-opening for me, for many personal reasons. I've seen how selfish I have been over the last year, and I've come to learn much about the importance of eternal families, the power of self-analyses, the magic of social relational fortifications, and the gentle yet moving power of God's hand. I've grown so much in the last month that it has been overwhelming, but I still carry on day to day, the burden made lighter due to the grace of God. I am very grateful to be where I am today.

I have been online less frequently over the last few weeks. My heart aches when I read of the pain and turmoil others are going through. I pray on everyone's behalf in the hopes that Heavenly Father finds my pleas worthy of His time, and that those on behalf of whom I pray receive some benefit, despite how much or how little we are acquainted. I wish I could do more, though. I wish that it wasn't such a socially frowned-upon thing to care so much about others. Every day, I think about people I may not know very well, and wonder how they are feeling, and hope that they are coping with life healthily and happily. Some of these people I've only ever talked to on the internet, or met once or twice at church or work. It's funny, because people joke about my "black heart" a lot. If only people realized how much I truly do care...

So instead, I pray for people, and I keep it to myself. I don't know if that makes things any better. I hope it does. For all of those within the sound of my voice (or these words), please know that you are thought of daily, and that you are far from alone. There are days where life feels harder for me than on other days. But I'm constantly reminded of a God that wants me to be happy, a God that wants me to feel important and alive, a God who is wonderful! When I think of Him, and of all the miracles I've seen in my life, I cheer up, and find the strength to keep pushing forward. Even in my errors, I have learned to see the good, the growth, that I undergo because of the experience.

I'm so tired right now, I'm afraid to keep babbling...

1 comment:

Bravone said...

EJ, I love you and your fine spirit. You have a natural love for others that transcends the printed words on a blog post. Thank you for being someone I can look up to and thank you for your friendship.