Thursday, April 30, 2009

Help Thou Mine Unbelief

One of my favorite passages in the Bible comes from Mark 9:

23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

It expresses how I feel so often in my life. I KNOW that the gospel of Jesus Christ is real, and I KNOW that Heavenly Father hears my prayers. I KNOW that the atonement is big enough for all things, even my own plight. Still, I have days where I'm weak, and my faith is tried. On these days, I want to cry, and I plead that the Lord will allow blessings into my life despite my unbelief.

Now, more than I have in a very long time, my hope is that God sees the good in me, and will grant unto me the righteous desires of my heart, despite my imperfections.

"Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief..."

Friday, April 17, 2009

I Know That I've Got Issues...

Again, I have so much on my mind. Easter was very eye-opening for me, for many personal reasons. I've seen how selfish I have been over the last year, and I've come to learn much about the importance of eternal families, the power of self-analyses, the magic of social relational fortifications, and the gentle yet moving power of God's hand. I've grown so much in the last month that it has been overwhelming, but I still carry on day to day, the burden made lighter due to the grace of God. I am very grateful to be where I am today.

I have been online less frequently over the last few weeks. My heart aches when I read of the pain and turmoil others are going through. I pray on everyone's behalf in the hopes that Heavenly Father finds my pleas worthy of His time, and that those on behalf of whom I pray receive some benefit, despite how much or how little we are acquainted. I wish I could do more, though. I wish that it wasn't such a socially frowned-upon thing to care so much about others. Every day, I think about people I may not know very well, and wonder how they are feeling, and hope that they are coping with life healthily and happily. Some of these people I've only ever talked to on the internet, or met once or twice at church or work. It's funny, because people joke about my "black heart" a lot. If only people realized how much I truly do care...

So instead, I pray for people, and I keep it to myself. I don't know if that makes things any better. I hope it does. For all of those within the sound of my voice (or these words), please know that you are thought of daily, and that you are far from alone. There are days where life feels harder for me than on other days. But I'm constantly reminded of a God that wants me to be happy, a God that wants me to feel important and alive, a God who is wonderful! When I think of Him, and of all the miracles I've seen in my life, I cheer up, and find the strength to keep pushing forward. Even in my errors, I have learned to see the good, the growth, that I undergo because of the experience.

I'm so tired right now, I'm afraid to keep babbling...

I Stand All Amazed

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Smack Into You

I was a little bored tonight, and I thought "Hmmm.... maybe I'll mess around with my new iMac cam."  So I started singing this song to test out the recorder, but my roommate was sleeping, so I couldn't use my full voice.  Anyhow, one thing led to another, and bam.... my first ever youtube vid!