I remember my very first date with my very first boyfriend. We went to the movies to see "Atlantis." It was a really cute flick, and we had a good time. I was eager for lunch, and in a great mood when we walked out of the room, and into the lobby. That's when it happened: a mother with two children walked past us, and the kids were so cute, so happy, and their mother had a big smile on her face. They were adorable as they walked past us, all giddy from the movie.
I watched the little family walk by, and I burst into tears. My boyfriend gave me a look, and asked, "Hey, what happened? You okay?" I tried to smile as I mustered, "They're just so beautiful," and nodded at the little children. My bf asked, "Are you upset." I nodded. "Why?" And I died a little inside as I answered, "I just realized, for the first time, that I'll never have kids."
That was 8 years ago. To this day, that very thought depresses me. When I hear a baby cry, I long for that baby to be crying for me. When a child acts up in public, I feel a slight twinge of guilt when their parents make a disconcerted face at them. When the teens at church come to me with stories or questions, I consider the blessing their parents must enjoy from having them around all the time.
I know, I can adopt. Or get a surrogate. But it's just not the same.
I may finish this blog later... BTW the baby's my newborn nephew Braviun :)
4 comments:
i know it's not the same to not have one of your own. I love you and don't be sad you don't know what the future holds
EJ, I hope someday you do have children of your own. You would be a great dad. Remember, though, that there are many fathers who never father and mothers that never mother. On the other hand, within you is is the innate ability to fatherly nurture others. It isn't the same as having your own, but your ability to nurture other can bless their lives and yours.
I love you EJ.
You can borrow mine any time you'd like! :) Secondly, if you DO adopt, it WILL be the same. No, your blood won't be in your baby's veins, but do not let anyone tell you that an adopted baby isn't "yours." One of my gf's adopted about a year ago, and she is just as much a mother to her daughter as I am to mine. So, adopt as many babies as you can handle! You'll make a great dad someday!
Maybe it's your calling to adopt those unfortunate orphan babies.
Instead of creating new baby, why dont we just take care of existing ones who need parents. Those babies need parents also, right?
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